The Scenario

I often test my wife's love and enduring affection by offering her a simple scenario: "Would you have married me if...?" I know that she loves me today, and there's no need to wonder about that--and I know that she will love me through thick and through thin, so there's no need to worry about her feelings changing should something happen.

But... I always wonder--"What If?" So I might ask her:

"Would you have married me if I was missing a thumb?"

"Would you have married me if I had a limp?"

(Goofing up my eyeballs): "Would you have married me if my eyes were stuck like this?"

(Shouting): "IF I TALKED LIKE THIS?"

Etc, Etc, the game goes on and on... But it ALWAYS ends the same. She tells me "No."

That's right, this mother of my five children ALWAYS says that, no, she wouldn't have married me if even the most infinitesimal thing were askew about me physically. And everytime I ask, "Why not? I'd be exactly the same person..." At which point she says, "No, you wouldn't... You'd be bitter."

And no matter how much I'd argue, that I'd be the same happy-go-lucky guy, that I was only missing a portion of my left-hand thumb and I'd learn to work around it. Or that despite the limp, I could still get the garbage to the curb. Or that, even as a shout-talker, I was ironically the most gentle man in the county... she still wouldn't give, determined that said challenge would leave me bitter.

It's a fun dialgoue that's conclusion has never once altered--and now I'm not sure I could lift my jaw off the floor, if it did.

Comments

[Darnell Lamb]

Reading now?!? Brother, you are not reading, you are listening. There is a big difference.

[Darnell Lamb]

I would hope you get this Superman! The guy who originally wrote it meant for there to be a Messianic parallel. By the way, my next door neighbor was missing part of his middle finger but his wife still married him. No bitterness at all. In fact, he was outstanding at fooling the kids with his "magic finger" routine.

[johnvano]

Darnell,
I am so glad you found my new blog! But I must report that 3 of the 5 books featured are being "sight-read"... 2 are being "listened to." Inquiring minds--like you--want to know.