johnvano.com: Do Real Men Wear "Flip-Flops?"

Earlier this month, we took the kids on a vacation to Florida. It was nothing special, we just stayed with my parents, and swam in the pool at their new house.

What was signifcant; however, was that our 4 oldest children overcame their fear of the water--while Madison and Marshall learned how to swim!

As for me, I overcame a few fears of my own--as I wore flip-flops for the very first time, watched my first episode of Matlock, and explored more virgin territory...

FLIP-FLOPS

You'll recall that man-sandals of any kind were not generally accepted until the 1990s (hippies excluded), and I finally succumbed to the trend in the late 90's as I came to embrace the male-sandal. However, I had never gone so far as to wear the rubber "thong" flip-flop, or for that matter, any shoe-like platform wherein my big toe was held separate from my other exposed toes-ies. That era has closed now.

In Florida, I purchased both a pair of rubber flip-flops and a higher-end sandal of the same design. The early-going was rough, and I wondered how some women can walk so fast in them. For that matter, why do you ladies wear flip-flops on long walks, to Disney World, or hiking?

After awhile, I got the hang of the things, and I am now ready to accept endorsement deals to promote this ingenious footwear. Best of all, is keeping a pair by the door, so that when I take the dog out--it's effortless. It's just so much easier than putting on my lawn-mowing sneakers.

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SWIM NOODLES

Another first for me was in the use of those long, foam swim noodles. I had never rode one through the water--and I didn't understand the attraction of them, but I am a believer now. Slip a tube under your arms and you can just float around the pool, or put one under your back and another underneath your knees, and you can lie on your back and take a short nap. Wow!

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THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER

Growing up, this publication was of the devil, but now I guess it's okay, since I just discovered that my mom buys and reads the thing. So after making fun of her, I picked up her copy to peruse it after everyone else was in bed. I noticed that The Enquirer ("I want to know!") has a crossword puzzle, so I first worked on that--and had so much fun because I was a mental giant compared to those simple clues!

Then as I dug deeper through the issue, I found that The National Enquirer reads kind of like the Drudge Report of Entertainment--with breaking news about whose gained weight, whose dating who, and what's what in Hollywood. I didn't see a single story about aliens communicating with hairless dogs or baby-eating dingoes... all I found was a periodical a few unsubstantiated stories short of US Magazine. It's not edifying, nor is it Chicken Soup For the Soul, instead, it is a bastion of real "fake" news. Who knew?

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MATLOCK

Until this vacation, I had never watched an episode of Matlock, but wow--it's pretty good! Yes, it has that late-80s-dramatic-series-hokeyness--but now that we're more than 15 years in the future, I found it charming.