Imagine with me, a 35-year-old who is still starring in a children's variety show--21 years after he got the part. Co-stars have come and gone, but he remains. He tries to blend in, but America is beginning to wonder about him. These are his memoirs--part one in a series.
I always wanted to be a star, I guess because I liked being the center of attention. It began with the puppet shows I did for my parents, and progressed to song and dance competitions. Glitter was the thing then--the more sparkle on your pant suit, the better. I looked hideous in that stuff, always with the feathered hair-do. I'll post a picture some time.
My big break came when producers came to my hometown of Worcester looking to cast four kids for a song-and-dance skit show called Eddie's Fun Junction. I remember auditioning with a soliloquy from Hamlet. I also sang and tap-danced the song All That Jazz. I was 14.
I was in the original cast of Eddie's--"Eddie" being a drunk guy in an eagle costume. Why they thought an eagle mascot could headline a children's show, I will never know. I guess all the bear, mouse, and dog gigs were taken. Anyway, we all hated Eddie. His real name was Octavio--something. He was in his late 20's, but seemed a lot older to me back then.
He would show up drunk, and he kept a flask under his wing. He toddled around so much, they had to make that part of his schtick. In fact, they soon called the character "Crazy Eddie," and he would just babble and wander around while we'd giggle for the cameras. We actually hated his guts and wished he were a professional, like us. The producers eventually phased him out of the show, and the kids became the main focus. They added three more regulars to cover for the lack of a mascot.
For the third season the name of the show was changed to Fun Junction--and it's been called that ever since. The original cast was actually much younger than the cast we have today. As I said, I was 14 when the show started and my three co-stars were about that age, no older than 16, anyway. But as we aged, they kept us on, and we made no pretense about our aging cast--our actual ages were kept secret, as to be a matter of national security. I was 22 before any of the original kid cast--plus the three new kids--left the show.
I guess I should talk now about some of the other members of the show--we were then, as we are today, a regular United Nations--the producers making certain to have one of every gender, size, and color. I was the token Caucasian male--jack of all trades who could sing, dance, act, juggle... I was pretty much the centerpiece. Then there was "Joey" (his real name was Matthew Bourgis) who was the catch-phrase kid. The producers were always trying to give him some phrase that he'd repeat over and over again until it became a national craze. Joey was black. I'm sure he still is.
Then we had "Tanya"--don't ask me why the producers spelled her name that way, no one could figure out how to say it. If you go back and watch the old tapes, we say it differently on every show. Her real name was Jennifer Weebles--we all joked that "she don't fall down," but she was actually very clumsy. So, that was her role, to trip alot and to play dumb, to be the last one to catch on in any sketch. But boy, did she have the pipes! Tanya was Hispanic, a really beautiful, saucy girl who I dated for the first three years of the show.
Later, I dated "Dora" the Asian girl. She was so cute--what a baton-ist! She could twirl and twirl that thing and always catch it perfectly. I don't think I ever saw her drop it, even in rehearsal. We did some weird stuff with that baton! I think her real name was Kiri, which sounds beautiful. I think it means mountain, or hill, or something. Anyway, she sort of became "Dora" and refused to let anyone call her Kiri again, even her parents, who she really offended. I wonder what happened to her?
Well, this post is getting way too long, but it was a good exercise. Next time I write I'll reminisce about the three cast members that joined for the third season and start to tell you some of my wildest stories! Come back soon.
that is some crazy stuff! at first i thought you were serious!
Posted by: Candace | August 10, 2006 at 10:51 PM
More please!
Posted by: a | August 11, 2006 at 09:28 AM