johnvano.com

John Clump

Alone and bored, and suffering from bleacher butt at my daughter's basketball practice, I began to play with the various functions on my BlackBerry Pearl. I took some random photos during this time. Pictures that I am not particularly proud of (like the curly white head of the woman in front of me), but which served to entertain me during this time.

To the left is a portrait of my left hand--the perspective leading one to believe that I am the white Sherman Clump. Perspective is everything, is it not?

Underdog, the Movie!

This will probably be a dumb movie--I can't imagine a live-action superhero dog movie--but I'll be there nonetheless, introducing my progeny to one of my all-time cartoon characters.

I'm just finishing up lunch and discovered in today's USA Today that they are making an Underdog movie  for release August 3rd. Jason Lee (My Name is Earl) will provide the voice of Shoeshine Boy/Underdog.

Wow--dreams really do come true!

The Next Super Bowl

So I got these games wrong? My heart broke to see Manning beat Brady and to see Brady throw that INT with just a few clicks on the clock--I thought he'd pull it off for sure. Guess I'll be rooting for the Colts over the Bears. I used to love the Colts because of Unitas and then Faulk and Harbaugh... Manning has never inspired my fandom. Playoff record: 5-5. Funny thing is, I prognosticated against the Colts and Bears all but one game!

New Orleans at Chicago. The multi-layered offensive strength of the Saints will be too much for the Bears to keep up with. The Saints proved last week that there ground game is very solid and multidimensional with Deuce McAllister's strength and Reggie Bush's inventiveness. The Saints also boast a quarterback just reaching his prime who threw for more yardage than any other passer this year. Meanwhile, the Bears are very uneven on offense, and I expect the Saints to force Rex Grossman into mistakes. The game comes down to New Orleans being able to score far more often than Chicago can hope to. Saints 30-19.

New England at Indianapolis. Bill Belichick has nearly always found a way to win, and the Colts have been his whipping boys. True, the Colts possess more pure talent than do the Pats, but the Pats are about the sum of their parts, more than any one individual, except perhaps Tom Brady. This has to be the most anticipated game of the entire football year, and the winner will be the odds-on favorite to win the Super Bowl. I'm thinking the Patriots will force the Colts to turn to their running game--I'm not sure how they'll do it, if you maintain a constant rush on Manning, you leave his marvelous receivers open; if you play back, you give him time. But somehow, they'll force the Colts to run a few more times than they ought to--and New England will take advantage. Meanwhile, I think the Pats themselves will run more, with Maroney having a huge game--probably catching a lot of short passes from Brady. At the end of the day, Brady, Belichick and the Patriots will be standing tall, I hope. This does have a nagging feeling like it's the Colts year--but I'm sticking with the Patriots. Patriots 31-28.

Fantastico!

I want to give a long-overdue shout out to Buca di Beppo in Jacksonville, Florida. After Christmas, my entire family went there for dinner after an afternoon of beachcombing and shopping--this included my parents, five members of my oldest sister's family, five members of my youngest sister's family, and seven members of my immediate family.

Even though it was dinnertime during the holiday season, our entire party was seated in short order at two nearby tables. My three youngest children were a mess and my niece was too, crying and whining and exhausted from their day. But the service and attention was awesome, as was the atmosphere. Our server brought out a cheese pizza absolutely free to help get the kids settled and fed--this was I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP--the best pizza I've ever, ever had. Thin, cheesy, hot... did I say cheesy? It was that great Italian pizza cheese that made it so good.

My three youngest continued to cause noise and the twins had to go to the bathroom multiple times--Buca should have been exasperated by us--but from the manager on down, they were simply amazing. Then Halle fell off her chair and started screaming. I picked her up, craddled her against my shoulder for a minute, then pulled her away to have a look at her. There was blood splattered on my shirt and gushing from her mouth. I quickly handed her to Paula while the two of us raced down the hallway to the bathroom. She ran in and washed Halle up while I paced in the hall. When I took a good look at her lip a little later, a deep gash could be seen in the back of her lip--obviously she'd need a few stitches.

Do I Seem Less Intelligent Than a Sandwich Artist?

...Not that there's anything wrong with being a Subway sandwich artist. On the contrary, it's a noble profession. One upon whom I depend for my quality cut meats as much as once a week. And yet, let's admit it--it does not require a fine understanding of the language arts, to slice meat. I should know, I've sliced meat for pay in my day. Though I wonder if the sandwich artist actually slices meat. It always seems prepared for them so that they can work with the medium of their customers choice--pork, foul, or steer--to craft their art.

I pose the question in the above headline because of an experience I had during the third quarter of the Patriots' riveting upset of the Chargers--a result I predicted here at johnvano.com. It was then that I ran out quickly to provide foodstuff for my young family. As I was placing my order with one artist, the other was manning the register at the other end--asking each customer in succession if they had any Midol or Tylenol. When I finally reached her, she asked me for Advil. I guess I look like an Advil-man. Actually, I'm an Aleve advocate, but I believe that's beside the point.

I gave her my condolences and then suggested that she could just walk down the sidewalk to the grocery store connected to her building. She didn't offer a rejoinder, but rocked back and forth on her elbows, aching and moaning. Then, with a burst of energy, she bounced up and went to the other end of the counter where she began intricate artistic endeavors on my six sandwiches. It was at this point that she said softly--but not too softly--that she always gets "flatulen" when in this condition.

Birthday Girls

Our twins--Halle and Emma--turn four years old today.They truly are the apple of my eye. I always wanted a little girl, and I was so thrilled when our oldest, Madison, was born. But to have two little girls at once--is indescribable. But I'll try.

Halle pushed Emma out of position A and into the world first--but she had a difficult time remembering how to breathe. The hushed voices of the medical staff over in the corner, while Paula was getting ready to deliver Emma, was more than a little distracting. Before long, Halle was brought to the neo-natal intensive care unit while her sister breathed her first. As a parent, you quickly learn to appreciate life and God's gift of children when you see your children born. But to have twins--after a miscarriage--and to have one placed in NICU for a day or two, brings the joy to the forefront. So many of the babies that we'd walk past in order to visit Halle, were in dire straights--tiny, helpless, some with little chance to survive--and it was more upsetting to see what others faced than to worry about our own little girl.

Round 2: NFL Picks

Saturday

Indianapolis at Baltimore. I see the Colts getting stymied by the Ravens. Baltimore 26-24. Result: Indy 15-6

Philadelphia at New Orleans. I know that last week I picked Philly in this game, but I've had a change of heart. I think the Saints pull it out. New Orleans 31-24. Result: New Orleans 27-24

Sunday

Seattle at Chicago. Chicago just doesn't have enough offense to keep up. Seattle 20-16. Result: Chicago 27-24

New England at San Diego. The Patriots outlast the Saints in the highest scoring game of the weekend. NE 35-30. Result: New England 24-21

I Walked Right Into That One!

I was at the grocery store tonight, with my shopping cart, waiting at the prescription counter. The pharmacist and his protege seemed relatively unconcerned about me. When I at last announced my son's name as the prescription needed for pick-up, they told me to hold on for just a minute. So I did, assuming I would soon be paying for my item.

Meanwhile, a frumpy and grumpy woman walked up and stood at the end of my line of one. I adjusted my cart slightly, so that she could stand beside me at the counter--if called upon. A younger woman also came forward, who seemed distracted, and possibly not there for anything pharmacuetical.

The frumpy woman and the rudish pharmacist exchanged friendly, knowing greetings. I occupied myself with ESPN on my BlackBerry Pearl. Then I heard a very pompous and disgusted voice belch: "Could you please move..." at which point I automatically began to move and utter my apologies for inconveniencing someone.

But then her request continued... "out of the way so the rest of us can get through?!" By the end of her request, my answer of: "Oh, of course..." had degenerated into: "...I would be more than happy to move--SOOO SORRY!"

Where I've Been

With a nod to MadSanity, here are the states I've traveled to and through in my lifetime. North Dakota and Wyoming I'm not 100% sure about, we may have driven through them in one or more of my family trips as a youngster, but I don't think we did.

It has been several years since I've checked off any new states, but clearly, I'll have to book passage to the Northwest someday to get this map filled in. My paternal grandfather lived in Vancouver, Washington for a few years, but I never made it out for a visit.

I've lived in six states. I was born in Minnesota, lived in Oklahoma as a toddler, and then my mom and I returned to Minnesota while my dad was in 'Nam. We left Viking country when I was 16, and I lived in Upstate New York until college. Then it was Massachusetts for school, before I returned to New York for a couple of years. In 1995, I moved to South Florida, where I met and married my wife. In 2000, we moved to Georgia, and that's where I've been ever since.

NFL Playoff Predictions

Saturday

Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts - Larry Johnson will clearly have a mammoth day rushing against the Colts' porous line, however, I think the Colts will bleed this win. With the way they've faded the past five games and considering their recent playoff flame-outs, they will do whatever it takes to overcome the Chiefs' ground game. I see them going to the pass time after time and Manning threading the needle, willing them to win. Colts 38, Chiefs 31. Result: Colts 23, Chiefs 8.

Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks - The Cowboys have lost their stride recently, while the Seahawks have never quite had theirs this season. While the 'Hawks have all their horses healthy finally, I just don't get the vibe that this is their year to do anything but place. The Seattle receivers are a liability, while Dallas has strength at every skill position. Both teams will be slow going, but Dallas will pull away in the second half. Cowboys 31, Seahawks 20. Result: Seahawks 21, Cowboys 20.

Sunday

New York Jets at New England Patriots - The Patriots are just too good and too well-coached to lose a first-round game to a cinderella team. Mangini has done wonders with a formerly flailing Jet team, and he beat Belichick's Pats in their last meeting, but these are the Patriots, people--they'll find a way to win. It will be closer than it ought to be, but it's another success for New England. Patriots 24, Jets 20. Result: Patriots 37, Jets 16.

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles - Are you kidding me? The Giants haven't won a must-game since they started falling apart at midseason. Oh forgive me, they beat the Redskins on the last day of the season to squeak past the other 19 teams vying for that wildcard spot. The Eagles are hot right now, firing on all cylinders with nothing to lose. They will dominate. Farewell, Tiki. Eagles 34, Giants 17. Result: Eagles 23, Giants 20.

----------------

Future Match-ups Providing My Imaginary World of Prognistication Comes True

Dallas at Chicago. Bears win by scoring three times on special teams and defense.

Philadelphia at New Orleans. Philly is a symbol of brotherly love and teamwork in this victory over a nervous and pressured Saints team--hoping too hard on their dream of renewal.