Represent'n

I have been absent from the blog, but present with my work over the past several days because of a business trip to Orlando. Herewith are some reflections on my adventure.

Don't ever use Mears Transportation out of Orlando. In advance of our trip, I reserved this service for my airport pickup and delivery to the hotel. I even paid extra for the guy with the little sign, not to see my name in Sharpie, but so that my colleague and I would not miss our 6 p.m. dinner meeting after a 4:30 p.m. arrival. But after a brisk flight, there was no little sign guy. We went to the Mears counter and overheard them tell an unreserved individual that it would be an hour's wait. I thought surely they're ready for me--I have a reservation! But we too were given a one hour delay--due to some imaginary accident. Imaginary I presume because though they said it was terrific and had the whole of Orlando shut down, every other taxi and shuttle service seemed to be working fine. We shared a cab with an old friend we ran into--and made it to our dinner just in time. Our business associates, however, were 40 minutes late--so that was a little funny.

As we pulled up to the hotel, my colleague spotted a woman with purple hair--surprisingly not uncommon for the event we attended. She snapped a picture for us all to enjoy (see photo to the right). At the hotel counter, I asked for any special rooms they might be able to upgrade me to in my quest for a king-size bed. They offered me a VIP suite with Murphy bed, which I greedily accepted at no additional cost. This room gave me so much space (I was checked in for 4 nights)--with a full kitchen (sans the microwave, oven, and stove), bathroom with shower stall, couch, soft-side chairs, table with chairs, bar with stools, TV in cabinet, and pull-down bed. A Murphy bed is the kind of bed the Three Stooges would always get wrapped up in--which would fall on their heads or suck them into the wall. The hotel clerk assured me that she has jumped on these to verify to their functionality, safety, and authenticity. And in truth, it was a very comfortable king--and I loved the seven pillows all to myself!

I bought two pay-per-movies during my stay--For Your Consideration (an Academy Award spoof by the folks who brought us Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show) and The Good Shepherd (the Matt Damon-Angelina Jolie CIA movie). Both were slightly disappointing, but I'll review them in full at a later date. After my goal to have a successful conference on behalf of my organization, my second hope was that I could put in 8 hours of writing--doing a little each night--on my novel. Fat chance--I was so tired from running around 12 hours a day that I spent a total of 40 minutes on the thing. I feel abysmal about this, but I was so wasted in the evenings, I'd fall asleep during my PPV.

On Sunday night, while wondering whether I should go to sleep, read, or watch TV--I fell asleep. At 11:37 p.m., I woke to find my elbow pressed into the mattress and my hand holding my head up as I slept. I heard some scritch-scratching at my door and then a feint knock. I got up and peeked out my peep hole to see a young bald guy with a hotel key card in his hand. I opened the door and he peeked over my shoulder at the single lamp illuminating the darkness and asked, "Is the party over?" To which I answered, "There's no party here." I then jestured to the empty room and my bed. To which he immediately hopped on his cell phone and confirmed with his buddy that his destination should be 1944, not 2044. He left me with, "I am such an idiot!" which he repeated again and again to his friend on the phone.

I had also arranged a meeting with an old boss of mine. Actually, I had dinner with one old boss and her right hand and spent a few minutes chatting with a third old boss of mine (in my industry there's a lot of cross-pollination). But the one of which I speak now was my boss' boss from my twenties--back when I was very rough around the edges. At the time, I thought the guy was a jerk. But now I look forward to my annual meetings with him: client to agency. I see him so differently now, as tender, wisened, and gifted. Yet 12 years ago, I only wondered about him behind his back. Such a pity. It was also invigorating to meet with so many business partners who saluted me with kind words and seemed reasonably impressed with both my colleague and myself. Sometimes it's nice to hear these things, especially when you have begun to doubt your self. It makes you feel a little like the guy you used to be, though I must admit God is teaching me so much because of my challenges.

Also on the trip, I got to see John McCain in the flesh. He's not my candidate of choice, but nevertheless, it was fun to stand 15 feet from him as he addressed a room filled with other media representatives. He said all the right things from my vantage point. He has a reputation as a tough-talking straight-shooter, and that's admirable, even if it only turns out to be his schtik. Standing that close to him, made me think of the speeches given by other politicians of merit through the 250 years or more of America's fight for liberty. Other brushes with political greatness (that I can recall) came in these episodes: Saw Newt Gingrich speak live from about the 15th row, met one-time Oklahoma congressman J.C. Watts, saw George W. Bush speak on screen at an event where he was actually just below me, and interviewed past primary candidate Gary Bauer.

Lastly, I have several amusing experiences I'll run through here at the end of my very long post. 1) I cheerily welcomed a guy to an open house and he returned a very limp handshake and a lifeless expression. Later, a colleague of mine brought him to me for an introduction, and he suddenly seemed more interested in talking. Nice. 2) A bunch of guys from Dallas recognized my cadence as that of a MInnesotan they know. They didn't hear an accent mind you, it was the rhythm and tempo of my speech that gave me away. It has now been 21 years since I lived in Minnesota--I can't believe it. 3) One meeting featured three guys on the other side of the proverbial table who reminded me of the "See No Evil, Say No Evil, Hear No Evil" monkeys. 4) I nodded off at the breakfast table on Monday morning--listening to a too long speech. 5) We met with a female client and her boss, two very different people with two different last names. Suddenly, it became obvious that they were married. For some reason this surprise felt creepy, maybe because they didn't go together and I didn't know they did from the outset. 6) Oh, and on the flight from Orlando to Atlanta, we hit a flying egret. He dented the right wing and left a swatch of blood all over it. Regrettably, I have not seen any eyewitness accounts from startled passerby reporting a limp egret falling from the sky.

Comments

[Luann]

Good times! LOL! Enjoyed reading this!

[me]

Can it really be a "full" kitchen with no microwave, stove, or oven...come on man! And I'm glad your old boss came with her "right hand"...it would have been painful had she left it in her room!! :-)

[johnvano]

it seemed like a full kitchen because it was walk-in, tiled, had two counter tops, a double sink, a full refrigerator with freezer... (hey, I just realized I left something in there!)... and cupboards! I just couldn't cook anything, but why would I do that? It was an all expenses paid business trip.

[Darnell Lamb]

You mean to tell me that this lovely young lass with the purple hair didn't inspire you to write?