johnvano.com

Met Fan

Game five of Man Trip 5--our spring training baseball experience on the west side of Florida--was the Phillies-Devil Rays game in Clearwater. The match was held at Bright House Networks Field, home of the Phillies for spring training and home of their single-A affiliate, The Threshers. Did you know this...? A thresher must be some kind of shark because that is the minor league team's logo. I picked up three girls softball jersey-like t-shirts with this logo on it for my three daughters.

The quote of the game was easily, "YOU HAD THAT COMING YOU PIECE OF CRAP!" shouted by my neighbor in the seat to my left. He was a 40-something Mets fan. I knew this because he was wearing long, shimmering blue shorts, a huge Mets jersey that said "Beltran" on the back, and a Mets' cap. He must have lived in South Florida (on the east coast) because he talked to me about going to the Sony Tennis Tournament the night before (in Key Biscayne, outside of Miami) and not getting home until 1:30 am. Then he got up at 5 am to drive to the game where we now sat together. I used to go to that tennis tourney back when they called in The Lipton and back when I lived in Ft. Lauderdale--I loved it. He must have had great seats for the match, because he showed me all the close-up photos he took there.

Met fan had other homeys at the game with him (about five), but he and I talked quite a bit about the odds and ends of baseball and its players until he took a call and they all left abruptly to "see the boss." He said they'd be back, but they never were. But his outbursts about pitcher Brett Myers--took the cake. Myers was the Phillies' pitcher--and he did a capable job--but when he came to bat for the first time, Met Fan roared from our 18th-row box seats (behind home plate), "Ahhh--here's Myers... Myers--You're a piece of... (decorum prevents me from typing his full sentence here)!!" Then he confided in me, "Anybody who beats their wife is (decorum again). He beat is wife last year--it was in all the papers."

I nodded, "Really?" Then he surprised me with, "I know him, too." "You do?" I asked. "Yeah, we're buddies"--and I am not exaggerating, but he said this with affection in his voice, before he screamed again at the batting pitcher. Finally he added, "We grew up together... as kids."

Next time Myers came to bat, he was hit in the back of the neck with a pitch. As he took his base, Met fan screamed, "YOU HAD THAT COMING YOU PIECE OF CRAP (this is what he actually said)!!" He was so happy, that I was surprised when he didn't jump up from his seat to do a little dance. Later, he taunted Myers with the threat of another beanball, before he and his posse left to meet more of their Met-fan friends.

My American Idol Results

Even though I'm on vacation (Man Trip 5), I can still pull together my "AI" post for you faithful readers. My apologies to those of you following the Man Trip day-by-day--we have had insufficient Internet connections in our recent hotel rooms, some of which should never have been booked. More to come on our deplorable accomodations in a future post. --JV

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It was another strong night for Melinda (4.5) with her smokey performance and Mary Tyler Moore Show 'do, but it was Phil Stacey (4.0) who truly surprised me with his near-perfect rendition of "Every Breath You Take." LaKisha also showed up and dressed up, garnering a 4.5 rating from me.

The following performers should be safe tonight: Gina (3.5) very capable though underwhelming, Chris Richardson (3.5) even though every note he sang was virtually identical, Haley (2.5) was good enough to stick around, and Blake (2.0) is a keeper--the judges loved him--even though I felt he was too earnest and plain.

Jordin Sparks (1.5) will be in the bottom three tonight--she was muted, and appeared lost in a mediocre lip sync. Also, underperforming was Chris Sligh (2.0) who seemed stiff and a little scared. I'm predicting that the viewers will have soured on him by now and will boot him off tonight. And as for Sanjaya (1.5), his intoxicated can't-lose bravado will keep him around yet another week, remarkably. These are just one man's predictions, find out how right I am--tonight on FOX.

Don't Lose Your Head at the Ed

The following post is guest-authored by Carp . It's the first in a series of ballpark reviews from our jaunt across the west coast of Florida.
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Spring Training Ballpark Review: Ed Smith Stadium
Sarasota, Florida

The first stop on our Spring Training tour, Ed Smith Stadium, is the spring home of the Cincinnati Reds. 

For those of you scoring at home, Ed Smith, was a strong advocate of youth sports and loved the children of Sarasota dearly.  Perhaps he loved them too much.  We will never know for sure.  Some say he died of a broken heart.  I think he succumbed from spending too many hours at the ballpark without the proper sunscreen. 

The Cincinnati Reds are a relatively new arrival to Sarasota and Ed Smith Stadium, after having moved from Plant City in 1998. Ed Smith Stadium opened in March 1989 as the spring-training home of the Chicago White Sox, who have since shifted their spring-training home to Tucson Electric Park in Arizona. Ed Smith Stadium and the surrounding spring-training complex includes four-and-a-half practice fields and 35,000 square feet of clubhouses and office space.

Enough about Ed Smith Stadium, let’s talk about the ballpark experience we had on Saturday when the Reds downed the Philadelphia Phillies, 7-1.

Our seats were down the left field line.  Subjected to the blazing sun beating against our faces, Ed Smith Stadium does not provide a great deal of protection from ultraviolet rays.  Upon completion of the game my skin had taken on the hue of a boiled lobster.  Of course, I had failed to apply any sun tan lotion.  It was not Ed’s fault, I swear.

Mascot Name-Dropping

At the Reds-Phillies game on Saturday, Mr. Red was everywhere. The cherubic mascot for the Cincinnati Reds was the hardest-working humanoid in Ed Smith Stadium. He was a constant presence in the stands, running from section to section, posing for photograpsh with young and old. When he was in our section, Carp and I had our picture taken with him. Later, we sidled up to the Sarasota Alligator for a photo, and were surprised when--Mr. Red again, jumped into the frame, putting his hand on Carp's shoulder.

Our seats were down the leftfield line, and with no covering from the sun, they were baked pretty good by gametime. Neither Chris or I had sunscreen, so our forearms and knee caps got burned--plus my forehead. Nothing horrible, but every time the sun kisses my arms, I feel the burn. The Reds' starter was Bronson Arroyo--traded last year from the Red Sox for a fourth outfielder (Willy Mo Pena). Arroyo is now the Reds' #1 starter--a trade that has yet to pay off for the Sox. After struggling with his control in the first inning, he settled down to throw five shutout innings. The local papers here are calling him a "magician." On the strength of back-to-back homers from Adam Dunn (3-run dinger) and Brandon Phillips, the Reds skated to an easy 7-0 win. Chad Moeller added a homer with two outs in the eighth--adding fuel to his comeback bid.

A couple players of interest from this game were Joey Votto, Ryan Freel, Josh Hamilton (all of the Reds), and Fabio Castro (Phillies). Votto is a young player late of the Chattanooga Lookouts (who I watched live in 2005)--just trying to make the team. Freel is a 31-year-old who hit .271 last year for the Reds, and I found Castro a curiousity--with his unique name, his diminutive size (5'7"), and his 1.54 ERA with last year's Phillies club. Josh Hamilton was the top pick of the Devil Rays in 1999, out of the game for two years with drug problems, Hamilton is making a comeback as a 25-year-old outfielder (he batted just .260 in single A ball for 15 games last summer).

What About the Bagels?

"Did you get him the bagels?" That was one of the first pieces of baseball chatter I heard at Spring Training. For those of you scoring at home, Carp and I have safely made it to Sarasota, Florida and have imbibed the Reds-Phillies game. And it was while garnering some relish from the condiment stand, that I heard a tall, muscular guy from the security detail bark about bagels. He had been standing behind me when I got my bratwurst and hot dog--but when his cell phone vibrated, he efficiently snapped it open and barked, "Did you get him the bagels? (beat) I told you to get him the bagels! You do what I tell you to do." Then growing increasingly hostile he mumbled something about the give and take of their orders, before snapping his phone shut again with, "Get it done." He looked like an even-keel, friendly guy, but this was wildly aggressive--and about what? I wondered if perhaps he was procuring a late breakfast for Glossie Atkins, Sarasota's jovial mayor (pictured in the Reds' media guide). When the security man's call was over, I turned to him and he smiled wryly at me with a welcome to Sarasota grin.

Arriving in time for the 1:05 start was a minor adventure. We drove for five and a half hours on Friday from Atlanta to Gainesville, but without a hotel reservation, found everything booked for a cheerleader convention. We soldiered on to Ocala another 30 minutes further south, and after stumbling through a few more hotel lobbies (a rodeo was rumored to be in town), we found a vacancy at the Courtyard by Marriott (our clerk grumbled slightly about a Christian basketball tournament being the source of our trouble). Great room--I got the king suite while Carp slept on the pull-out in the living room. We had an amazing meal while the final seconds ticked down in the Florida-Butler NCAA basketball game. We had prime rib at the Lonestar Steakhouse while enduring horrible service from our mutton-chopped waiter.

Saturday morning we had two hours to travel before game time, and arrived at the ballpark around 12:30--much later than we wanted to--and were surprised to see so many people for a 6,000-seat stadium. Cars and pedestrians were everywhere and it was looking like a very long, frustrating wait to get into the parking lot. That's why I drove around the line of cars waiting to get into the lot, and headed away from the stadium. I thought there must be a way to circle around behind everyone and sneak in. After rounding a corner, and heading in the general direction of the lot, I spotted a vacant field with faint tire tracks and popped off the street and on to the grass. We drove my Toyota Corolla along a 100-yard stretch of grass, with the lot directly in front of us--when we came to the end of the field, we found a stream of cars entering the parking lot from the right and from the left of us--all I had to do was bump off the curb and mingle in. Of course, all the other drivers looked at me with envy and resspect for my ingenuity as I cut to the front of the line, and made my way to the parking lot.

What is Man Trip?

The following post is dedicated to my lovely, understanding, adorable wife--who suffers my foolishness and cares for our children while I take these little trips. I love you, Paula.

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With "Man Trip Five" (MTV) starting today, I thought I'd write up some of the highlights from trips 1-4 (2002-2005). This will give you something to do while we're driving toward our destination today. Keep stopping by for daily updates on the trip.

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A note about Man Trip: JohnVano and Chris Carp met in college. Carp was a year ahead of John and they didn't become friends until Carp's senior year in college. John was hosting a "popular" campus radio program at the time called "The Blazing Banner" show. Carp was the station's general manager. Interested in the phenomenon of John's program, Carp began to sit in during the live broadcast. Quickly, John and Carp slid into a natural banter as Carp played wingman and sometime comic foil to John's host.

Each program featured a call-in contest, and the winning team at the end of the night would be rewarded with a piece of unwanted junk (usually an old record) they found at the radio station. Each would "fake" the signatures of the "famous" artist(s) and sign the cover, then the two of them would make a symbolic march from the radio studios to the winning team's dorm room--arriving shortly after 1 a.m.

John and Carp cemented their friendship by "borrowing" the video equipment from the arts department and making music videos with other friends in the afternoons, and while pulling all-nighters completing their course work and studying. After college, Carp lived nearby in what John called "the cabin." They'd get together every other week or so to hang out while John finished school and Carp worked and saved money for his wedding. Following those two years, the two friends lived many hundreds of miles away from each other--but always kept in touch.

The Man Trip was created in 2002 to give them an opportunity to see each other at least once a year and to recapture some of the lost remembrances of their unfinished lives.

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Man Trip I: Appalachian Trial hike (Amicalola Falls to Dahlonega, Georgia), May 2002.

Believe it or not, we began our grueling, 4-day hike at Dunkin' Donuts. At my urging, we split a dozen donuts as we drove 90 minutes to the trail head and donned our 40-pound packs. We had a few donuts left, so we stuck them under the front seat of the car--in case we got hungry on the way back (4 days later!).

Madison is 8!

Happy Birthday, Madison Kate!

I love you so much and enjoy every moment we get to spend together. I'm so proud of who you are--your caring spirit, your energy and sense of humor, your nurturing skills, your fantastic memory, your love of learning, and the adventurous spirit that you and I share.

You have done so well this year in school--it excites me to see you reading so well, and it makes me happy that you told us last week how you love it. I'm sure you've noticed how much I like to read, so I am anxious to share books with you throughout our lifetime together. I am enjoying your youth right along with you--you have always been so healthy and have loved the outdoors, and you are growing so fast and so strong. You are athletic, and so very beautiful, Madison.

I love to watch you and Marshall become better and better friends, and it has been fun to see you begin to enjoy Halle and Emma as full-fledged sisters a bit this year as they have matured. Also, you do such a good job of taking care of your little brother, Cooper. Thanks for looking out for him. It has also been so much fun to see you blossom into such a social butterfly--I love your ability and desire to make everyone a friend.

One Last "Man Trip One" Rejoinder

Man Trip Five (MTV) begins this Friday when I pick Carp up from the airport named after two people. Before we began our daily chronicle from Trip the Fifth, we had intended to recap each previous trip so that my faithful readers would have some appreciation and familiarity with this annual journey. But, as both of us are fathers and possessors of excellent careers, this did not happen. So herewith is a short rejoinder to Carp's last treatise, and in my next post I'll share some of the highlights (from my perspective only) of each trip prior.

The Rejoinder: It should be obvious to all that Carp could not possibly know Bill Bryson. And aside from stalking, he has had no direct knowledge of Bryson. Nor does Bryson have any earthly idea who Carp is. Again, I'm sure this doesn't need to be said.

Next, I must give props to Carp for his candor in describing the miserable state of his being just prior to his evacuation from the trail. He did indeed panic, throw up his arms, and run flailing out of the woods to stop a young man attempting to spend quality time fishing with his infirm father. With his pleading, Carp interrupted what was perhaps the final significant moments between father and son before the elder slipped off into incoherence. So thank you, Chris, for your transparency. That's growth. My only hope is for similar personal growth on each Man Trip--after all, that's what they're for.

What makes Carp's tale even funnier, is that his attempt to bribe someone for a ride into town--was actually pre-meditated!

We'll Be Down to 10...

Like you, I've always believed Sanjaya to be the worst of the top 24. But after he survived the early cuts, it hasn't really shocked me that his fans keep him on the show. Can you believe that little girl on Tuesday night? If there's a few million like her out there--Sanjaya will stick around another week. But I don't buy it this time. Although Randy Jackson said it was Sanjaya "Mick Jagger" Malakar's best performance in a while--I don't agree. He was energetic, yes, but I think his voice betrayed him (and when hasn't it?). Because his voice went from a whisper to a fey shout, just enough of the really clueless will turn on him--and he'll be booted off the show this week.

Clearly, the belle of the ball again was Melinda Doolittle, who I scored a solid 5 (out of 5). I also had Blake (4), Jordin (3.5), Chris Sligh (3.5), Chris Robinson (3), and LaKisha (3) rating well--and I think America will agree. Good for Haley (2.5) showing up again with her new style--that will keep her around.

I think the trouble comes this week for Gina (who seemed sketchy), Phil (he was all over the place), Stephanie (bland), and our friend, Sanjaya.

My prediction for the bottom three:

Bracketology: Sweet 16 Edition

Well, I've done okay so far in my NCAA predictions--and as I've really not seen any college b-ball this year, I'm holding my head up high.

My record so far is 34-15 and I still have a horse in every remaining game. This means that I could finish the competition 15-0. Or I could fall on my face and lose every remaining match-up--but at least I don't have any sure losers yet. That's the worst, when there's a game and you picked neither team.

Of the next eight games I have only one match-up where I got both teams right: #1 Florida v. #5 Butler. But as is usually the case, had I only picked the upper seed for every game, I'd be 38-10. So I guess I'm saying that the village idiot could be doing better than me. Go, Hoyas!