This Day in Marketing: Collaring the Rain

I don't begrudge anyone for making money. In fact, as soon johnvano.com reaches 10 million daily visitors, you'll see my mug everywhere on this site--endorsing everything from Fruit of the Loom to Lumessence eye cream. Nevertheless, I have a few comments about recent endorsements I've seen.

Rihanna had a huge hit last summer with "Umbrella," and I suppose it's only natural for someone to offer her money to endorse their umbrella as Totes has done. But other than the money, why take the gig? It is almost as difficult to have your second hit in the music industry as it is to have your first. For an artist know for only one thing--the "Umbrella" song--isn't it incumbent upon her to be about more than slick rain gear? Should Faith Hill have stopped with "This Kiss" and become a lipstick chartreuse? Or should Madonna have settled for her face on the box of an EPT test after "Papa Don't Preach?" I'm telling you, girlfriend, put down the umbrella!

Now on to Rachael Ray... Rachel, entering the world of "dog food endorser" only looks greedy. People like you. They like your fresh, no nonsense simplicity. But don't push it. Not everyone should become Oprah. And I for one do not want you mixing up "delish" people food with whatever is in that bag of dog chow. I see you're calling that "delish," too... so who's fooling who? Are the dogs eating better or are we eating like the dogs?

Finally, Tim McGraw. I see you have a new men's fragrance. You're confident, I like that. But the only one who gives two hoots about it are women who don't think their man quite measures up. I'm not buying your stuff. If I wore cologne, I'd have a preferred brand. No, your product will be purchased by women who leave it or gift wrap it for their men. Do you really want to be that guy?

Comments

[karen]

I am so out of the loop. I don't even know who Rihanna is.

[Wendy Melchior]

John, funny. I have often thought the same about celebrity viagra endorsers - or John Madden and athlete's foot spray and Terry Bradshaw hawking the anti-depressant Paxil. I think it's okay to be honest about your issues, but do it in an honest way.

[Darnell Lamb]

Rihanna is an untalented hack.