The Next Wilford Brimley

While America debates who's best suited to be our next president, another contest draws my attention: Who will be our next Wilford Brimley?

Who will step up to become America's loveable crumudgeon--that someone we can trust for a good bran flake endorsement? To lead us, our next Wilford Brimley must be a man of character and charisma, who is familiar to an aging demographic, a man we can believe has the same digestive problems as the rest of us. A great orator, who can defend our country against the shysters who would keep us from sustainable adult undergarments.

America, it's your turn. Vote for the man (or woman) to give us straight talk about medical alert tools, home security programs, vitamin kits, and helpful aids to overcome those embarrassing elderly problems. We need an everyman celebrity spokesman for America's next generation of 70 and 80 year olds!

Here are a few of my favorite contenders. It's not too late to nominate!

Comments

[karen]

Whoever it is, I wonder how he will pronounce "diabetes."

[Darnell Lamb]

I nominate Boston Celtics great Bill Russell, he of the cream of wheat beard and mustache.

[J. Andree]

Keith Richards, followed by Bill Parcells, followed by Bill Bellicheck (who will undoubtedly do a superior job), followed by Ron Howard, and finally followed by John Vano.