johnvano.com

An Odd Mix with Some Taste

My rankings for this week's American Idol. These are not predictions, but assessments. I will predict stays and goes when we're in the final 12. 

1. Allison Iraheta--Nicely done. I wonder why these young upstarts always sing Heart? She hit the right notes all the way through.

2. Megan Joy Corkrey--a voice as beautiful as her face. Nice expressiveness. Very likeable. I call her "Tatty." 

3. Adam Lambert--Who's he channeling? Like a mix of Elvis, David Guest, and David Cook. A born performer, that's for certain. Could stick around for awhile.

4. Mishavonna Henson--I liked her voice and confidence. She sounded a little too much like the original artist... just a little more tweaking and she'd be perfect. 

5. Jasmine Murray--Seems to have the high wattage star quality that's needed. Sings pretty good, though some of her notes came back hollow. Good energy.

6. Kai Kalama--He has a nice voice and can use it, but I don't see the American Idol when I listen to him.

7. Jesse Langseth--Forgettable. Poor song choice, too retro. Sang it well, but she won’t be staying.

8. Kris Allen--The early round guys always sing Michael Jackson... hmm? Had me thinking karaoke, though he had a better finish. Don't see this guy making bones as a performer.

9. Matt Breitzke--I didn't expect the type of song he did, but I think it fit him, though the performance was kinda boring.

10. Nick Mitchell--He sang his farewell song... telling us "goodbye" with those lyrics. How could anyone vote through such a nasally singer? Yes, even I could do that. Just think if he got voted through in favor of a real singer... then would you see the other contestants howling? Did hit a nice big note.

11. Matt Giraud--Some nice tones, but breathy and forced. Forgettable.

12. Jeanine Vailes--Whoa, not good, dog. Shrill, hollow, very impressionistic. At least she enjoyed herself.

Carp's rankings: 1) Adam Lambert, 2) Allison Iraheta <big dropoff from here> 3) Nick Mitchell (he's a breath of fresh air), 4) Kris Allen, 5) Megan Corkery, 6) Kai Kalama, 7) Mishavonna Henson, 8) Jesse Langseth, 9) Matt Breitzke, 10) Jeanine Vailes, 11) Jasmine Murray, 12) Matt Giraud.

I Feel I Am Being Watched

Every morning at work, I use the restroom. I am not unlike others in this biological response. Yet no matter how I vary my rising to walk the hallway, the restroom on my floor seems closed for cleaning. 

Yesterday it was 7:52 am when this happened, and today it's 9:47 am. I have been in this building maybe 65 days since I was hired, but this disturbance is constant. Floor two does not have this problem. The bathroom 242 paces away and on floor 1 does not have this problem... I can't tell you how it grieves me. At least I know it's clean--when it's open.

American Idol Recap: Few Bright Spots

Ordinarily I don't stand up and make bold predictions or give American Idol critiques before the Final 12 have been seated, but I was feeling it this year. Herewith are my thoughts on the first rounders tonight. Only 3 of these 12 will get through.

Who do I most want to see again?

• Alexis Grace--it was a little jarring for me to see such a little sprite singing such a rough and tumble song, but she sure stood out. Had the glam, the attitude, and a real nice voice.

• Danny Gokey--I like him. I felt he was too breathy and the opening was more subdued that I'd have preferred, but he had a good middle and a great last note. Wasn't blown away, but he had enough to get him past the other players tonight.

• Jackie Tohn--sure, she's a card and talks a little much, and she's not much of a dancer, but she sure is fun. She had good enough stuff for this low level of the competition and a good voice. Lose the shimming. Reminds me of Margot Kidder.

There's hope for these few

• Ricky Braddy--I didn't like him, but I can see why others might. He made big moon eyes at me and was too earnest. What was it with the fluttering eyelashes and the makeup on his eyebrows? Nice voice, but he reminded me of that character Martin Short played on SNL ("oh, I must say!").

• Michael Sarver--a happy, bouncy bear. Very likeable.

• Tatiana Del Toro--she set a nice tone. Changed her personality completely. Went south in the second half of her song. Voice could have been bigger at the end.
  

Too soon to tell

• Anoop Desai--He could squeak through. He has good pipes but chose a weird song and had little energy.

• Ann Marie Boskovich--I thought she did pretty well, despite what the judges said. But she seemed way too aggressive with her physicality.

No chance

• Stephen Fowler--I didn't think his song choice was so bad, but I didn't like his interpretation of it. I felt like he could have killed it, but just phoned it in.

• Brent Keith--fell way short of the original artist on his country song. His voice lacks edge and strength.
  

They were awful

• Stevie Wright--why, oh why? I liked you, Stevie, but you sounded terrible. Don't sing a song by a rising star. You've been much better than that.
  

• Casey Carlson--no strength to her voice, limited talent, good personality and looks, but how is she even in this competition?

 
Carp's rankings: 1) Danny Gokey, 2) Alexis Grace, 3) Ricky Braddy, 4) Michael Sarver, 5) Tatiana Del Toro, 6) Brent Keith, 7) Ann Marie Boskovich, 8) Anoop Desai, 9) Stephen Fowler, 10) Jackie Tohn, 11) Casey Carlson (why did she even bother to show up?), 12) Stevie Wright (ditto).

Eh, I Could Do That

While I'm impressed that Suresh Joachim has about 30 world records to his name, I'm not so impressed by his latest feat. Actually, I'm surprised the bar hasn't yet been set higher. Can you believe the Guinness world record for consecutive TV watching is only 72 hours? Sure, there's sleep deprivation involved, and you need a toilet in the vicinity of your screen, but that seems like kind of a wimpy record. And how did he break it while watching 24? Was it a televised marathon? If he was watching DVDs, does that even count since it wasn't a live telecast? 

Probably worst of all, Joachim is a Sri Lankan living in Canada. What happened to America's best couch potatoes? Why don't we have this record? My faith in a fat and happy America has been shattered.

Milky Grains

Nothing could be better as a kid than to have a pantry stocked with your favorite sugared-cearals: Apple Jacks, Pops, Cap'n Crunch, Super Sugar Bear, Rice Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms... I live in that house now. So why can I barely tolerate cereal? Sometimes it sucks when your tastes mature.

Spiders Live in Their Own Little World

When I woke up this morning and began to brush my teeth, I noticed a little spider had moved in just below the faucet.

Dude, this sink runs water, some of it piping hot, probably 25 times a day. Don't you do any recon?

Don't Uncurl the Thumb and Pinky

It's time for preachers to hang up on that ubiquitous phone gesture they've been using since the 80's. You know the kind, the "hang ten" position with the three middle fingers curved in toward the palm, the thumb and pinky stretched out to form the earpiece and mouthpiece...

I know it's an easy way to show relevance and mime a dramatic point, talking on the phone is something we all do... but no one has a big banana shaped telephone receiver anymore. Most everyone has a cell phone, and when we're not talking on one, we're using a handset very much like a cell phone. You don't need the thumb and pinky to stick out... it makes you look like the dude in the mid-80's comedy with the 15-pound cell phone... dated.

My recommendation for the future is to make a little fist, and pretend that's your phone. This public service message is brought to you by johnvano.com.

Add it to Your Collection

The Collectors -- by David Baldacci (A-)

Baldacci's follow-up to The Camel Club is a much better caper, featuring richer portraits for each of the club members. Whereas the first book in the series put the sizzle in the events of the book while neglecting the development of the main characters, The Collectors gets the formula right. In this adventure, the four men in the club are well distinguished from one another and the reader has the opportunity to know them so well that he can identify them by their characteristics.

Not only do the main characters come into brilliant focus, but the story involves two separate plots (that come together of course) that are equally compelling. One of my favorite genres for book and film is the casino caper--and The Collectors has a great one, featuring a very appealing woman in the lead. Meanwhile, the Camel Club takes up a case involving the Library of Congress and the world inhabited by Caleb Shaw (one of the group). And Oliver Stone, the leader of the Club, is vividly drawn to life while maintaining the mystery he needs to keep our intrigue. I also enjoyed the fun the author has with collecting, and how this hobby plays a role in the lives of many involved in the plot.

Though many of the minor players--and a few of the major ones--are drawn from stock character models, Baldacci more than makes up for it in his storytelling. The book also ends on a decided cliffhanger, making me anxious to read yet another sequel, but concluding it this way is not nearly as impressive as if Baldacci had been able to tie up all the loose ends in one volume.