johnvano.com

Fives: American Idol Report

Vano says: My personal rankings for the week

1. Danny -- he had me with the first note.
2. Adam -- tone down the strange, still he's good.
3. Kris -- against my instincts, I've grown to like him.
4. Allison -- got the chops, but she's not blowing us out anymore.
5. Matt -- Michelle Pfieffer alone should have a permit to sing this song

Bottom 3 (by voters): 5) Matt, 4) Allison, 3) Kris. Matt ends his journey.

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Carp says:I realize I am woefully behind Vano at this point but am humbly submitting my AI rankings for this week.

1. Danny Gokey -- His glasses were not working for me but he had a Rat Pack swagger according to the clueless Cara.

2. Adam Lambert -- He is our Michael Phelps declared Paula excitedly.  In light of Mr. Phelps recent pecadillos I don't think that is a title Adam needs.

3. Kris Allen -- A little rough on the falsetto but the girls were going wild.

4. Allison Iraheta -- She was looking "dope".  Perhaps she is the female Michael Phelps.

5. Matt Giraud -- Not a good sign when Jamie Foxx calls you back with a suggestion after squinting at him the entire time sang.

Should Go Home:  Matt Giraud

Will Go Home: Matt Giraud

Between Ages

Gift card in hand, with my five children and their mother, I took a left and headed for the men's section. Eschewing the oxfords, trousers, and ties, I made a beeline for the short sleeved pullovers, graphic tees, and officially merchandised products. As I held up an orange, horizontally-striped shirt and noticed the signage indicating the "young men's department," I wondered about myself.

Here I stood, salivating at the prospect of a new Pepsi t-shirt or a Brian McCann faux-jersey, while more age-appropriate attire cleared its throat in hopes of getting my attention. I wished the store hadn't decided to categorize men who wear clothes into groups of young and mature, because it left me wondering if I should be feeling my age. I thought about it, then shook it off, feeling as 26 as I'd ever been, kids or no kids.

The next morning, on our way to church, I stopped at the grocery store to purchase some sweet tea for the potluck. Waiting behind a 50-ish man at the customer service counter, I couldn't help but stare at his aging befuddledness. He was inordinately slow about things, carefully placing his cakes and candles and treats on the counter, then, after things were run up, realizing he'd need his wallet. He rooted around in his back pocket, pulled on his bifocals, and laboriously counted out some bills, insisting on pinching out the correct change. But to his surprise, the cash he got back was more than the total due for his purchases. He had somehow mistaken a fifty for a twenty, paying 70-some dollars for a 33 dollar purchase. The clerk was too kind to point out the error, but the man swallowed and gulped and grimaced when he realized his mistake, dropping a dime on the floor as he scrambled to get his bags.

As I bent to the floor, I spoke up that he'd dropped some change, but he didn't hear me, toddling off so that I had to catch him in order to return it. Watching him leave, I wondered about my age, now closer to birthday cake man than to the guy I see myself as, the one who buys Smokey the Bear t-shirts in the young men's department.

Let's Do This Again: AI Final Seven Redux

Here are my "American Idol" rankings for April 21:

1. Kris -- nice percussion, big credit for this refreshing take. He's climbed my list each week
2. Adam -- I wanted him to blow the house down, but I'll take this pitch perfect performance
3. Danny -- nice soul, his movement is getting better too
4. Allison -- I'm a fan, but I thought she was too raw and jagged. Good song choice for a teen?
5. Matt -- what's with the funny voice? So affected. Tried to be Timberlake... it was messy
6. Anoop -- he just sang one note. Rearrangement didn't work
7. Lil -- she must go. She's just not a fit for this thing

Bottom Three (in votes): Matt, Anoop, and Lil. Going home: Anoop and Lil.

** Carp? Are you out there?

Short Night's Sleep

Throat's tightening up yet the window stays open. Probably shouldn't have had that blackberry yogurt, I think the clusters aren't clustering like they should. Need more water but don't want to get up. Not that I'm all that comfortable, my butt's kinda numb if truth be known. 

My alarm has been set for five hours in the future, but I'll be getting up for the only thing that gets me out a bed--finishing this blasted novel I've spent four years writing. I tell myself four years because it feels like a lie I can swallow, really it's longer but I have no documentation for that. We're getting close, the third draft's a charm. 

Feels too early to go to sleep when the Braves could still win this thing in the top of the ninth. 

A Confederate Outpost

How does one disparage a cult classic and winner of the Pulitzer Prize (1981)? I recognize the ingenuity and freshness of one Ignatius J. Reilly, the loathsome and quarrelsome protagonist of John Kennedy Toole's southern novel, A Confederacy of Dunces, but I may have read him too late.

To me, the novel was a labor to finish as I became distracted by other books, returning to "Confederacy" to read another 60 or 80 pages until I could tolerate it no more. There really is some genius to the madness inside, but the belching, bumbling story of ineptitude made me restless and discontent. I think perhaps the humor has been lost on me for the decades that have fallen since its creation (1960s) and publication (1980).

Better is the foreword to the book, provided by Walker Percy, who tells of Toole's mother and her labor of love to get the book into the hands of a publisher after her son's suicide in 1969. The opening chapter is a good preview of the ruckus that ensues throughout the story with Toole masterfully pulling together all the stray characters while recording the oddities of life in the Quarter during the era. Recommended for southern lit fans and those interested in the progression of literature.

Carp on the Final Seven

A very quick AI report for this week after a one-week hiatus.  Here is how I scored it at home:

1. Adam Lambert -- I could have done without the Lambster's girly run to the front of the stage. It somehow cheapened his performance.

2. Kris Allen -- A heartfelt rendition of a tremendously tender song. As Quentin Tarantino said, "Kris was playing with the casino's money."

3. Anoop Desai -- Who is giving this guy wardrobe advice? A sleeveless blazer? Come on! It distracted me from an otherwise noteworthy performance.

4. Danny Gokey -- Danny sans glasses singing "Endless Love." I wanted him to bring out the Li-o-nel but he didn't. Solid but unspectacular.

5. Lil Rounds -- No soul in her interpretation of "The Rose." It was sort of robotic. It was good to see ol' Lil get sassy with Simon at the end of the show.

6. Matt Giraud -- He should look at his pocket watch more so he can wake up. His sleepy-eyed soul isn't cutting it for me.

7. Allison Iraheta -- A sloppy performance through and through. She is safe though as the judges trumpeted/promoted her dismal performance so they can get Lil off the show.

Should Go Home:  Matt Giraud

Will Go Home: Lil Rounds

Seven Dilemma (amer idol blog)

This week is a tough one to comment on... the performances didn't stand out to me, for the good or the bad. Adam was expressive, Allison was pressing, Kris had a smooth sound, Anoop impressed, Danny and Matt were forgettably good, and Lil was solid, but unspectacular. 

Quentin Tarantino may have seemed an odd choice as a singing consultant, but I thought his comments were helpful, especially when compared to some of the hoops other artists jump through to avoid saying anything constructive. More than anything, Tarantino is an odd duck to watch... 

My rankings:

1. Kris Allen

2. Adam Lambert

3. Allison Iraheta

4. Anoop Desai

5. Lil Rounds

6. Danny Gokey

7. Matt Giraud

Prediction: Lil, Anoop, and Matt are in the bottom three. Going home: Lil Rounds

Eight is Enough! (amer idol thots)

Here are my weekly rankings and picks for "American Idol."

1. Allison Iraheta -- easily the most moving of all the performances for me. Very impressive.
2. Adam Lambert -- I didn't really get this song, but I guess it doesn't matter when Adam sings.
3. Matt Giraud -- well played
4. Lil Rounds -- put forth what she should have been doing all along
5. Kris Allen -- hard to put a damper on his chops
6. Danny Gokey -- good
7. Scott MacIntyre -- fell well below the pack. still, he was okay in some ways.
8. Anoop Desai -- could be going home. what happened to him?

Prediction: Bottom 3 will be Anoop, Scott, and Lil. Scott ends his journey.

"Just Like That Guy and His Brother..."

On Sunday my six-year-old daughter, Emma, blew me away with something. I was giving my wife a quick recap on the Maureen McCormick bio I had just finished, telling her about the struggles she's had with her brother's treatment of their father... The elder abuse and manipulation he's allegedly put their father through and the scheming to get money away from an aging and confused man. 

I didn't mean for my daughter to overhear this adult situation, but she did. Yet her response made my mouth drop open. She said, "It's just like that guy and his brother... from the Bible." I crinkled my brow and thought for a moment, then remembered the story I had read to the family about Jacob tricking his father, Isaac, out of his brother's blessing. Then Emma and I circled the wagons on the Jacob and Esau story again, with me mesmerized by her wisdom and application.

Here's Marcia, Marcia, Marcia's Story

You want revealing? Try Here's the Story, the memoir of every male Gen-Xers first crush, Maureen McCormick (aka Marcia Brady). Not content to tiptoe through the cutesy flirtations of life on the set of "The Brady Bunch," McCormick begins with her struggles to dispatch the Marcia character and the very real pain her mother carried all of her life, and passed on to her only daughter. 

After crushing on just about every guy she mentions in the first half of the book, including her "brother" Greg, McCormick craters into a crippling cocaine addiction that only the Lord and the accountability of her church could rescue her from. She married a guy who should surely rank as one of the most patient and dedicated men on earth, who endured her rages and bouts with depression. 

The book is an incredibly revealing look at the pressure this young woman put on herself to be perfect like Marcia and the hole she put herself in when she couldn't measure up to her own standards. Trying to break the Marcia mold and have a successful acting career was also a challenge. Here's the Story is quite a journey, moving quickly through her personal struggles and the flits of her career and into her marriage. Just about the time she got things figured out, she suffered through the death of her mother and the strange behavior of her brother who turned her aging father against the rest of the family. 

A satisfying read for Brady fans or for anyone who's struggled with depression, bulimia, drug abuse, anger, or elder abuse--she's seen it all. Not the highest quality of writing, but very serviceable. 

On a final note: I had this memory that I'd started to doubt: Maureen McCormick's appearance in an early-80's Christian movie I saw at summer camp. We were all convinced "Marica" was a Christian. Turns out, she really did make the movie I had banging around in my head... and had become a Christian. Though after her conversion in the early 80's, her faith doesn't get much mention through the remaining 20-plus years of her story.