“Turn and tell someone you’re so glad to see them this morning!!”
If you’ve spent any time in an evangelical church, you’ve surely been assaulted by grinning commands from the platform—instructions that can make even the most social of people cringe.
Telling congregants to swirl to their left and right to shake hands or repeat a trite encouragement is not likely to further the faith. Is the operating assumption here that we can’t make friends, or won’t think to greet people before or after the worship service? Must we be implored to break form within the meeting to glad-hand?
Nearly always it’s the worship leader who is guilty of this schmaltz, typically a guy on super church serum who confuses lifting praises to God with the role of cruise director on The Love Boat.
Often the statements we’re told to repeat are unnaturally long-winded. What is the degree to which I believe the phrase someone is telling me? How many people go off the reservation to say whatever they feel like, to mumble only a “hello”, or say nothing at all?
The next time you’re given these instructions—take note of the room. A handful of charged up congregants will run about, passing out hugs and conspiratorial close-talks; many will dutifully shake, smile, and mumble; even as others stand frozen and forgotten.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a spontaneous conversation break out between two people who didn’t already know each other. Usually obligatory handshakes are thrown around until one runs out of hands, forced to wait (a bit awkwardly) on the instigator now taking laps around the sanctuary.
It seems we could do a lot better.
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