johnvano.com

You Can Step on My Toe

Why waste time being offended? I'm an off-the-scales conservative Christian, and as such, I expect to be in the minority just about everywhere I go. Fine. Should I project surprise when a person, institution, or trend runs perpendicular to my view? Not on your life. I'm different, and if you believe God designed this place and sent His Son to redeem it, then you're pretty different, too.

Should this fact offend? No, it's the way of life. 

So why preach disgust, discord, disagreement, and disapproval when we can project truth, light, faith, and hope? 

It's lunacy to scream in pain when someone steps on your toe.

Oh, Crack.

This is a fascinating article on the no-BlackBerry adjustment that's ahead for president-elect Obama. Despite the convenience of instant communication it is terribly distracting and often counterproductive. Sounds like a good idea to kill it in the presidency on that issue alone, but the security matters are of course the primary reason.

Hey You, 'Still Believe in Universal Health Care?

Here's a story to scare you straight... In one of the lands where there is "free" healthcare for all, Australia, a family is being denied permanent residency because their 13-year-old son has Downs Syndrome.

True, these are immigrants from Germany. But also true, the head of household, Bernhard Moeller, is a doctor who moved to the country two years ago to assist with a shortage of doctors in rural communities. Now the governement is asking the Moellers to move along because their son has been ruled to not meet the "health requirement."

The Associated Press reports the story, including the Moellers' case that their son contributes to the community in many ways, but the root issue here is the government's ruling on who and what are considered to be burdens on society. As the United States raises up leaders with leanings toward universal health care, we need to ensure that their beneficent platitudes do not become mired in judgements about who is worth an investment from the community chest. When the broken are told they're not worth it, what kind of a society are we?

We've fought wars against those who have made these kind of judgments, do we really want to be one of them? 

This Day in Marketing: Collaring the Rain

I don't begrudge anyone for making money. In fact, as soon johnvano.com reaches 10 million daily visitors, you'll see my mug everywhere on this site--endorsing everything from Fruit of the Loom to Lumessence eye cream. Nevertheless, I have a few comments about recent endorsements I've seen.

Rihanna had a huge hit last summer with "Umbrella," and I suppose it's only natural for someone to offer her money to endorse their umbrella as Totes has done. But other than the money, why take the gig? It is almost as difficult to have your second hit in the music industry as it is to have your first. For an artist know for only one thing--the "Umbrella" song--isn't it incumbent upon her to be about more than slick rain gear? Should Faith Hill have stopped with "This Kiss" and become a lipstick chartreuse? Or should Madonna have settled for her face on the box of an EPT test after "Papa Don't Preach?" I'm telling you, girlfriend, put down the umbrella!

Now on to Rachael Ray... Rachel, entering the world of "dog food endorser" only looks greedy. People like you. They like your fresh, no nonsense simplicity. But don't push it. Not everyone should become Oprah. And I for one do not want you mixing up "delish" people food with whatever is in that bag of dog chow. I see you're calling that "delish," too... so who's fooling who? Are the dogs eating better or are we eating like the dogs?

Finally, Tim McGraw. I see you have a new men's fragrance. You're confident, I like that. But the only one who gives two hoots about it are women who don't think their man quite measures up. I'm not buying your stuff. If I wore cologne, I'd have a preferred brand. No, your product will be purchased by women who leave it or gift wrap it for their men. Do you really want to be that guy?

The Stupidest Thing I've Heard (This Week)

From a sign posted in a restaurant bathroom--no doubt meant to cheer the various employees working together toward a common goal:

"Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it everyday!"

All of us know what this is intended to say: "We're all unique, we're all special. What you don't like about someone, might be the very thing you need to embrace--that could fill the void of knowledge, love, skill you do not possess." But it doesn't say this. Instead it goes for the nonsensical.

The words diversity and common are antithetical to each other. You cannot be both unalike and alike, different and the same. Our culture is changing rapidly. In my county, the percentage of non-whites has grown from 10 percent in 1990 to over 50 percent and Anglo-Americans are projected to be a national minority in the years to come. This is what America is about--come legally, prosper, and let's make a homogenous society together.

So there is a need for us all to be open, receptive, and loving to one another. But let's do this by recognizing what we have in common and not by continually segmenting ourselves. Let's be bound in what holds us together--our humanness, our design, our creation in the image of God, our emotions, our passions, our abilities and possibilities... Let's recognize that we're all alike--far more than we'll ever be different. As we bridge our differences, we'll find there's much more to stand on when we remember what we have in common.

Only then can we properly recognize and enjoy our diversity.

Smell Something?... It's Only Cheech & Chong Reuniting

The rope-a-dope duo of Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong are together again--teaming up for a comedy tour after 25 long years of incompatibility. The reunion makes me think of other duos that should pony it up and reunite. America demands it.

The Coreys (Feldman and Haim) have already hooked up on reality TV...

But what about Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding ...?

Or Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges (unhip parental guardian not included)...?

  

A guy can dream, can't he?

The Sweet 16: Carp Picks His Faves

Carp guest blogs again with his analysis of this week's male and female performances on American Idol. The views and opinions expressed by Carp are not necessarily those of johnvano.com. 

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THE MEN

While I wasn't as excited as the drunken glee Paula was on Tuesday, I believe the guys turned in a solid evening of crooning as a whole.

The Best:

• David Archuleta--He has a tremendous voice, he is humble, he is creative, and now he has a social conscious. David is destined to win it all.
• David Cook--He made Lionel Richie look cool last night. Hello? There is no denying he has the talent to go deep. But can he win over the pre-teen girls who control everything on A.I.? Time will tell.
• Jason Castro--He's dreamy, he's vulnerable, and he's shy--an elixir for puppy love from adolescent girls. Jason shed the guitar, took on a tough song, and scored some valuable currency with all three judges.

 The Worst:

• Michael Johns--Dude, it was '80s night. You look like Michael Hutchence from INXS, you should have been singing "Never Tear Us Apart." So what do you do?  You sing "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds--not exactly a singer's song. That's like being the lead singer of Van Halen--Roth or Hagar--and singing Air Supply. The voters could be all out of love, but he will survive.
• David Hernandez--The gay stripper allegations are "all coming back to him now." The boys of Phoenix loved him, but American Idol voters won't. Tough call but I think he's going home this week.
• Danny Noriega--Danny is an unstoppable force. Let's crown him King Sanjaya! Although I cringe every time I see him, the only thing that will stop this kid from going far in the competition is a purse sale at Macy's or a move by the government to take cellphones from girls under the age of 16.

THE WOMEN

Paula was sipping the devil's nectar again on Wednesday night, but I can't help but thinking Randy was too. We learned that she loved dogs, especially mutts. I have decided that Paula is absolutely useless on this program. 

The Best:

• Amanda Overmyer--From worst to first. Morticia really blasted unlike her screech owl imitation from the week before.
• Brooke White--It appears that Brooke actually combed her hair last night. It had been quite frizzy the last few weeks. Perhaps she used conditioner. What I like about her is that she is original. I am growing tired of all the Whitney Houston or Celine Dion imitations on Ladies Night.
• Syesha Mercado--She can definitely sing but she is becoming quite predictable. I enjoy her spunkiness.

The Worst:

• Carly Smithson--Sorry, but the tattoos are a real turnoff for me. I find myself mesmerized by her 'ink' whenever she sings, trying to figure out exactly what that thing is on the left side of her body--I think it is a Korean woman smoking a cigarette. Nevertheless, I wasn't impressed with her last night. I felt like she screamed her way through this Cyndi Lauper classic. She will survive though.
• Kristy Lee Cook--I so desperately wanted her to do well. Liked the country flair on Journey's "Faithfully". The problem was about midway through the song she veered off the melody highway toward Scream City. Plus, I thought I saw the funny eye once or twice. She is going home tonight.
• Kady Malloy--She sang "Live Forever." I agree, Kady will live forever. Unfortunately, it will not be on this show. She has a future though, as I see her playing Britney Spears in a Lifetime movie of the week called "Oops... The Liquor Did It Again."

 
Carp's elimination picks for tonight are: David Hernandez, Luke Menard, Kristy Lee Cook, and Kady Malloy

I Have a Podcast!

I have joined the CircusFrog community and will soon have weekly posts that will be available exclusively at CF. But don't worry, it won't affect  the volume of scintillating content at johnvano.com. If you hit the CF site soon, you'll find a podcast featuring myself and my buddy Carp--debating the use of emerging technology among children. Funny, but emotional, as we take opposing viewpoints.

On another note, tonight is the Brad Paisley concert... so I should have a report on that for you tomorrow.

Where I Was

As you've no doubt heard, today is the 10th anniversary of Princess Diana's death. For whatever reason, the event of her death has become one of those lasting cultural memories, that I believe are unique to our generation. Did people prior to the Age of Camelot ever say, "I remember where I was when I heard _____" ?

This got me thinking of other "Remember where I was-es" ...

   

08.16.77--Elvis Presley dies of heart attack, Memphis. I must have learned about his death the day after it happened. I was standing in line in our school cafeteria, waiting to have my school picture taken. Two kids behind me were talking about the "Death of the King." I was surprised to learn that Elvis had been alive up to then. I thought he was already dead. I was 8.
06.11.79--John Wayne dies of stomach cancer. I learned of the Duke's death on the evening news and I was struck and numb. I went to my room to write down his death date so that I'd never forget the day. I was 10.
12.08.80--John Lennon is shot dead, New York, NY. Two kids sitting across from me in art class were wondering how they could go on after the death of John Lennon. I wasn't even sure who he was. I was 11.
12.16.80--Colonel Harlan Sanders dies of leukemia, Kentucky. I was sitting in school when an announcement came over the P.A. system. We were informed of the death of Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I don't know why... but I thought it was very appropriate that this information be transmitted to me as soon as possible. I grieved.

   

03.30.81--President Ronald Reagan is shot, Washington, D.C. My mother told me when I came home from school. I was sitting on a barstool in our kitchen and I think she would have been leaning against the counter. Afterward, I sat there and watched the replays on the TV in the kitchen. It was a black and white. This was the same place she told me about sex, and probably the same year. I was 11.
01.28.86--The Space Shuttle Challenger explodes after take-off, Florida airspace. It was my junior year in high school. I was standing, waiting for lunch, as the news spread through the lunch line. I was 16.
01.17.91--Operation Desert Storm is launched, Iraq. We were in the midst of Operation Desert Shield and doing a good work to protect the people of Kuwait. When it was announced that President Bush was going to announce a formal war, the drama team I managed and directed in college asked me for permission to be excused from rehearsal for 30 minutes to watch the announcement on television. I was filled with so much rage that an actual war would take place in my lifetime when I was of fighting age, that I refused their request. They went out and watched anyway (and who blames them). They came back for rehearsal, and I treated them like crap the rest of the evening. What was I thinking? It's one of my greatest regrets. I was 20.
06.17.94--O.J. Simpson involved in a low-speed police chase after failing to turn himself into authorities for the suspicion of murder, Los Angeles. I saw the story break on TV that evening and watched with great interest. Then I left for work (I had a job working the night shift at a radio station) and watched the entire drama unfold on my little Sony Watchman. I was 25.
10.03.95--O.J. Simpson acquitted for the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, Los Angeles. Our stingy boss let everyone come upstairs to watch the live verdict on TV. We had about a 10 minute break to watch and discuss. Our disgust/relief with the verdict was split along racial lines. This was in Syracuse, NY. I was 26.

   

07.15.97--Gianni Versace dies from assassin's bullet, Miami Beach, Florida. I don't remember exactly when I heard he had died. I had never heard of him before his death, only of his company. What I remember is the hunt for his killer, Andrew Cunanan. I lived in Fort Lauderdale at the time and the manhunt was right within my region. He could have been on the loose anywhere, but they finally found him in a houseboat not far from the murder scene. I was 28.
08.31.97--Princess Diana dies in car wreck, Paris. I was on our church's annual singles retreat in Marathon Key, Florida. I learned of her crash when I went to bed in my room that night. I watched the continuing coverage, but finally went to sleep. In the morning, we all talked about her now confirmed death. I asked Paula out on our first date at the conclusion of this weekend. Did Diana's death bring us together? Was it her final act? No... I was still 28.
07.16.99--John F. Kennedy, Jr. dies in small aircraft fatality, Massachusetts. We were living in our shoe box apartment in Fort Lauderdale with our newborn, Madison. It was a Saturday, I believe. And we watched the continuing coverage on TV. I was 30.
09.11.01--New York's Twin Towers, the U.S. Pentagon in D.C., and an aircraft in transit to the White House crash in related acts of terror. I was in the conference room at work during a staff meeting. The girl watching the phones popped her head in to the room to announce that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York. Our boss, seemingly perturbed, said thanks and dismissed her. Then she came back and announced another plane had crashed. He tried to continue with the meeting, but he was faced with a defection. Soon a TV was carted into the room and we all sat in horror. The entire day was a wash, but our boss pretty much made us stay for almost all of it. I was 32.

I'm sure I'll be kicking myself later, remembering all the others I couldn't think of now...

I Don't Know, She Still Sounds Vapid to Me...

Miss Teen South Carolina has been ridiculed lately for her butchering of this answer (8/27 Miss Teen USA Pageant) about the "geography malaise" in our country...

Q: Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?

Yesterday the Today show gave her an opportunity for a retake:

"Personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on a map. I don't know anyone else who doesn't. If the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography in our education so people will learn how to read maps better."

Pure genius! Just check off every problem as a quick-fix for our educational system... Isn't this what everyone says? She had time for a reasoned, inspired response... and this is what she gives us? I am thankful that this contest only determines pretty spokespeople with pet causes, and not world leaders. Plus, she didn't answer the question--they asked her why students couldn't locate the U.S. on a map... not what to do about it.